dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize