I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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