Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it's like iHOP with fire
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Don't judge me 👊🼠his dick just whispers my name
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
