I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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