So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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