dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
