Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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