I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
