I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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