It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
