i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
