ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
