If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize