Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
