yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
