just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
