Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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