careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
