I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
