Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
