I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
