I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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