sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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