Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just sucked dick on a ferry
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize