that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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