Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
