This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
