I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
