I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
ttyl tear gas
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
