I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
