Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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