We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
