If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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