He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
did i just pee glitter
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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