Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think my tv is drunk
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
