Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
