so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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