You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
