All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize