hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
