You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
