Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
