Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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