Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
how drunk are you?
Several
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
