fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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