i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
