Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize