You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
