My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
