He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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