and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
