apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
