He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
