I'd wear matching sweaters with you
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
