it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
