Can Purell be used as lube?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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