question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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