i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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