It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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