I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
