after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
