i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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