I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
