You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have aggressive nipples.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
