So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
