nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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