My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize