just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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